|New Member Here
||[Feb. 28th, 2006|08:29 pm]
The Spinster House
YAY for the Spinster House!! I love it!
I found it in a pre-Valentine's Day frenzy & terror & it brightened up my day!
Why indeed the idea that women would have to get married at any cost?
I told that to my Dad when I was 12 or so, arguing that a woman CAN be happy otherwise too (we had an extremely cool Chemistry teacher, who was 40-ish, and single) and he retorted angrily with 'Who will want you anyway?'
He implied my temper, character, my whole personality... my whole being... ME... just wasn't 'good enough' or was too 'difficult'. He had three older sisters and apparently felt threatened by dominant woman (his marrying one didn't seem to help much either). Of course, I know that now. I didn't then.
I thought I was really a horrible person and would never get a man.
Why do men feel threatened by the idea of (happily) single women?
The whole culture seems to be so against the notion.
In the old days, unmarried aunts etc. were important members of a family, taking care of kids... helping at the farm... But they had an extremely low status, mostly. Much like that of (poorly paid) maidservants. Nowadays it isn't necessarily so, but still...
Of course, now he denies ever saying a thing like that.
And regrets not having grandchildren, or a son-in-law.
Recently this came up, and I said, 'Well, I believed you.' Kids believe so many stupid things they hear from their parents, or teachers, or other grown-ups.
Seeing what fun marriage seemed to be to my always-quarrelling parents & getting my first boyfriend critisised & rejected thoroughly didn't help much either.
I'm still learning to not believe what he said. As if a good man were a 'reward' after you learnt to be 'almost perfect' or at least happy with your life and comfortable in your skin.
And then you see the kind of women that do get (good) men!! Aargh!! Ah well...
Looking forward to learning a lot from you fellow spinsters!! ;)
Hope you've had a fun day!