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Introduction... - The Spinster House [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The Spinster House

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Introduction... [Feb. 1st, 2008|11:00 am]
The Spinster House


At almost 32 years of age, I own a house, have a good job, and haven't been able to hold a relationship for longer then 3 months. Perhaps this is the wrong group for me, but I'm at the point in life where I'm trying to come to terms with that I'll be single for the rest of my life, and looking for advice/support? I'm an independent woman, and don't need a partner to define me, but how do you deal with the every day social pressure? Don't you get frustrated and wish for once you didn't have to make your own dinner at night, or order it. That there was someone there to be a support to you? I know it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't watch my friends slipping away, moving away, or becoming married. The people you once found so comfortable to hang out with, are now unbearable because your the 'third wheel' all the time. How do you deal with such? How do you find other single females in your area to hang out with that are not looking for men?

[User Picture]From: duskblue
2008-02-10 10:53 pm (UTC)
Hey! Welcome! Sorry for the late reply :)

What I do to avoid social pressure is look at all of the shining examples around me. How many people do you know in really good relationships? Even the ones that SEEM to be good have their problems. There is no such thing as the perfect, all romantic relationship. It's all a lie that people want you to buy so you can become just as miserable as they are.

Another thing I do is check out pages like this: http://www.truemomconfessions.com and http://www.truedadconfessions.com From what people are saying on there, being married with kids does NOT sound like a walk in the park. It sounds like a complete nightmare!!!

However, it's hard to find people of the same mindset as me. I have one single, childfree friend... and have a lot of trouble meeting more. What area do you live in? Perhaps we're near each other :) I live in the Twin Cities.

Again, welcome!
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[User Picture]From: marikanola
2008-06-23 10:16 am (UTC)
ACK! The married friend - the curse of the single girls existence. What I hate most with married friends is how all of a sudden they want you to be married too.

I am very lucky that I live in an area that seems to have a lot of singles, men and women - and since it's an arty area no one is as concerned with "mates" as they are with creating ... so I am really lucky there.

When my friends and family start all the "why aren't you married" stuff with me ( and really that is the worst isn't it?) I just turn the tables on them - and remind them of the last time they were bitching about said husband boyfriend ... and say "no thanks" It keeps them quiet for a time.

Besides the friends and family thing, I think that the worst thing is dealing with overwhelming situations. My car recently had issues during a time when I had a lot of other things on my plate - and more then anything I just wished that I had someone who could just take care of it. So I told myself that when all was said and done, I would let myself cry about it that night ... only when the night rolled around I didn't feel like crying. I was strong, I handled a situation that most of my friends might not have had the ability to do ... and while I was tired, I was also pretty proud. I tihnk it's important to acknowledge that sometimes the single thing does suck - and it's never the times that people expect
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